I’m not a religious woman, but I do find that there are too many unexplainable things that happen for there to be nothing at all going on ~in the beyond. I often cite “the universe” as the source of the circumstances I find myself or others in, as somewhat of an umbrella term that includes God should there be one. My spirituality is fluid and often rooted more in nature and other such things. I never feel closer to the divine than when I am in the woods, or in the presence of animals. The latter of which brings me to the events of yesterday.
Every morning I check the website of our local county animal shelter for recent lost and found critters and newly adoptable dogs. Yesterday, a pair of little terrier mixes I had spotted in the lost and found last week had been moved over to the Adoptable page. I sensed, based on the fact that they looked so similar and came in together, that they might be a bonded pair. I asked my boss if I could take off for a minute to meet the little girl (they are a boy and a girl) and see what I thought. I don’t think I’m ready to adopt a new friend quite yet, I still cry about Winnie at least once a day so that pain is still far too fresh. I guess I just wanted to see what shook out. I felt “called” is the only way I can explain it. It was strong.
I got to the shelter and it was not busy at all so I got right in to go back and meet her. While we were walking down the hall I was asking the staffperson about the little boy too, explaining my concern that they might be bonded and should be adopted together. She didn’t really address my concerns further than “Well, you can adopt both 🙂 🙂 “. Fair point, but not realistic. I already have two other dogs at home and four would be really pushing it.
The staffperson brings her in and she is TERRIFIED. Very low to the ground, cowering, tail between her legs, the whole bit. The staffperson left the room and I got right down on the ground really low and reached out a hand while speaking very softly to her. She slowly approached and rolled over to show me her belly. I asked if she was such a good girl? Are you a very good girl? and her tail wagged weakly. I began to cry seeing a dog in this state. I’m still very raw, and she did resemble Winnie a little bit. I knew pretty shortly in that I was not ready to adopt, but I needed to help this little girl in some way. I got up to leave and explained to the staffperson again my concerns about her maybe really needing to be with her little friend too. I understand the shelters are all very full and these people are very overworked and likely understaffed so I didn’t hold it against her when she didn’t really offer much in response. I left the shelter feeling emotionally taxed and cried in my car a little bit before returning to work. The car is my ideal place to cry. You are completely alone in your little microcosm and can really let it rip, you know?
Later on when I got home I spoke to my husband, asking if he wanted to go back and meet the dog. He, being a dog lover too of course, replied “I am always down to meet some dogs.” So, off we went. This time when we were led back, we were with a different staffperson who immediately said, “She has shown some signs of being bonded with the other little boy she came in with.” and I responded, “YES THANK YOU I WAS GOING TO ASK ABOUT THAT. Would it be possible to meet them together then?” She brought them both in and the difference was like night and day. The sad scared little girl I had met only a few hours prior charged in with her friend smiling up a storm, wagging her tail, greeting both me and my husband with kisses and sniffs. I sat down on the floor and they both started climbing all over me, giving me kisses and then giving each other kisses and then giving me kisses again, ad infinitum. They were truly the sweetest little babies. I called the staffperson back in and explained how when I was there earlier I had concerns of them being bonded and how the girl’s behavior was VERY DIFFERENT when I met her on her own. She explained that earlier someone had met the little boy on his own and it was the same thing, very timid and sad. We discussed back and forth and I insisted that if at all possible, that they require them to be adopted together for their own wellbeing. She agreed and I think this person might have had some more authority over the matter than the previous person I spoke with. I felt SO relieved. I posted a picture of them on my social medias asking for any of my friends who had the space in their home for two absolute sweethearts to go get them. Fingers crossed one of them who expressed interest goes and meets them today 🙂
It dawned on me when we were leaving that THAT’S what I was supposed to do. I had felt the strong pull to go meet her, but my purpose wasn’t to adopt her. It was to make sure wherever she got to go, she got to go with her buddy. The shelter said that visit and speaking with me confirmed the decision to adopt them out as a pair. Let me be clear that I’m not seeking accolades in telling this story, I don’t think I’m special or anything, just a regular animal lover. I think at the root here I’m trying to illustrate that sometimes when you feel that pull, to just lean into it and see where it goes. And one day when I’m good and ready, I’ll end up with the new little babygirl I’m meant to be with. You don’t have to whiteknuckle every aspect of your life (reformed control freak speaking here), what’s coming will come.
**UPDATE**
They were indeed adopted together the night I posted this entry, and by a friend of mine who lives 3 blocks away no less!! (fingers crossed for dogsitting opportunities). This all worked out exactly as well as it possibly could have. They are happy and healthy and doing great in their new home.
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