I had already decided, after dipping my toe in, that I wasn’t ready to get another dog. My heart is still so incredibly broken, my little soulmate has only been gone two months. I unfollowed all the pet groups, I stopped looking at the shelter pages of adoptable dogs. I decided to just let the universe take the wheel and stop thinking about it for a while, just focus on my healing.
But then a couple days ago I got an email. I forgot that I had signed up for those “good match” alert emails from a pet adoption site. I opened it up, and there she was staring at me through the screen, one brown eye one blue. Obviously, her resemblance to Winnie was the big initial attraction, I won’t even pretend that’s not what’s going on here. We all have a type.
I went to the shelter website. She was in Flint. On a whim I sent in a message through their contact form, because I had That Feeling. Jon was in the hallway sanding the plasterwork (we’ve both been kind of involved in little house updates to stay busy) so I went and showed him the picture. He also had ~a reaction.
The very next day, I was at work in my office just looking at all her photos on the website. She was so beautiful. At about 9am I went out to my car (privacy) with a notebook and pen to call them up and ask all my questions. As I was listening to the options on their system, another call was ringing through. It was THEM! We called each other at the same time, lol. FATE.
I had a relatively brief conversation with the adoption manager, where I learned that she was 3 and a half years old, and had been dumped at their shelter THREE SEPARATE TIMES, through no fault of her own. She said the former owners cited things like personal illness or advanced age as their reasons for being unable to care for her. This, understandably, pulled very hard on my heartstrings. This poor girl could not catch a break. I asked her to email me an adoption form that I would fill out and send back, and we arranged for the whole family to come meet her the next day. We wanted to bring the boys too, to make sure everyone would get along.
For the rest of the day, I was RIDDLED with anxiety. This was too soon, this was far too soon. But the universe has never cared for convenience and the signs were all there in black and white. To be fair, I wasn’t ready for Winnie when we got her either, and look how that turned out. I genuinely believed this is what I had to do. This babygirl deserved a good forever home, and I know that’s what we would be.
The next day we loaded the boys into the truck and took off for Flint. We drove through an EXCEPTIONALLY gritty part of town and got to the shelter. They were expecting us and as soon as we came in they led us to a little room. The boys would wait in one room while we met her just us in another. I sat on the floor and she came in. The very first thing she did was climb into my lap and give me ten million kisses. She was a SWEET, SWEET little girl. We took her outside with the boys and they all ran around together for a little while, getting along fine. I had no doubts there, Charles and Arch have never met a dog they didn’t like. She was VERY playful.
We signed the documents, I paid them, we loaded everyone back up into the truck and set off for home. The whole thing took MAYBE 30 minutes, in fact my head is still spinning. Did I make the right choice?? Oh my god what if I made a mistake??? In the backseat she curled right up and went to sleep on the blanket I brought. The little pink one with white daisies on it. The blanket Winnie left this world on, I thought could now be the one I brought the new little girl home on. Everything in nature is cyclical.
We got home and spent time together watching her explore her new house. She has SO many quirks and mannerisms that are almost identical to Winnie’s little ways, but at the same time she’s very much her own little person. Just seeing the way she props herself up on the couch arm the same way Winnie did made me and Jon miss Winnie so hard, but also made me feel like maybe her little spirit found it’s way back to me, in a way.
Nothing and no one can ever replace or repair the hole Winnie’s absence leaves in my heart, but my heart can grow bigger to accommodate space for a new friend. It’s gonna take some time for her true little personality to shine through but I’ll be here. She’s not going back to the shelter ever again.
Friends, meet Marigold. “Goldie” for short.
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